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PMM NEWS 04-01-2016

HEADLINE: HAKA BANNED

 

Mobile, AL -- In a move that is sure to shock and disappoint many, World Rugby, the governing body for rugby

throughout the world, has issued a statement immediately banning the now famous Haka performed by several teams before matches. A fan favorite, the Haka is used as an intimidation tactic to throw opposing teams off their game. Fans all over the globe have grown accustomed to this pregame ritual, and for some it’s an added attraction for coming to New Zealander, Samoan, or Tongan matches.

 

 

The statement, issued April 1, states:

 

“After much deliberation, World Rugby has decided to ban the use of the Haka at any World Rugby

sanctioned matches. We have studied the use of the Haka and its effect on opposing teams and we have come to the

conclusion that it provides an unfair advantage on the pitch. When opposing players watch the ritual it gets into their minds

and they are no longer able to properly play the game safely. We are instating a new ruling on the matter shortly.”

 

The Law: 1.7 Restriction of intimidation tactics on the pitch

(a) A team may not, under any circumstances, preform any ritual designed to frighten and intimidate opposing players.

(b) This restriction applies to any ritual/dance/interpretive dance/poetry recitation, named (or unnamed). Listed rituals:

 

Haka, ballet, yoga, mean staring, Gregorian chant, voodoo, or witchcraft. (any unlisted/as of yet unnamed ritual will be added as they are discovered)

 

World Rugby Officials have declined to comment, though a source close to the ruling board has told Purple Moose

Media journalists that one executive present at the meeting was overheard to say, “How can we expect players to play when they are scared out of their boots? I have to change the channel when I watch on TV. It frightens my children and gives me the willies!”

 

At this time, rugby players and fans across the globe have not had time to comment on the ruling, though there is

sure to be public outcry.

 

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